Finding out that your marriage is about to crumble can be the most heartbreaking moment of your life. You will start to wonder how things can fall apart even if your relationship started with the sweetest and most lovable story. Unfortunately, psychology tells us that people can change even if you do not expect it to happen. The truth is that you will begin to realize that your husband is not the kind of person that you expected to be when you first started dating. At the same time, you may also find yourself becoming a different person as the days go by.
When the marriage ends, it is only logical for both parties to get a divorce. Even if you do not want to go on separate ways, you have no choice but to participate in the divorce proceedings. We understand that it can be challenging to survive this painful phase of your life, but you have to no choice but to move forward to better tomorrows. At first, everything will be too painful to the point that you will wallow in sadness and loneliness for months. However, you cannot let this situation go on for a long time. Otherwise, everything in your life will start to crumble down. Your relationship with the kids, as well as other people, may be affected. As Jennifer Baxt, LMFT, LMHC explains, “Divorce is not something that should never be entered into lightly. It means an end to that relationship and the breakup of a family, which can be greatly traumatizing to the children of that marriage.”
Fortunately, there are tons of ways on how you can get going despite the divorce. Make sure that you know and familiarize yourself with these strategies so that it will be easier on your part to overcome the situation. Here are some of the smart things to do:
The first thing that you must do is to forgive yourself for all your shortcomings and failures in the marriage. Stop blaming yourself for what happened because it will only lead to depression or extreme sadness. The best thing to do is to recognize your mistakes and accept them wholeheartedly. Take note that there is nothing that you can do to change the past. Learn to forgive yourself so that you can move on quickly. Do not let your self-pitying thoughts bring you down.
Accept The Situation
Another thing that you must do is to start talking about your divorce to other people. Stop pretending that everything in your marriage is okay or that you are still in the process of working things out with your ex. Keep in mind that the relationship ended for a reason. Remind yourself of this reason every single day until you start to accept the situation. Take note that denial will only make things harder for you and your children. As such, it is recommended to start discussing to your friends and family members about the divorce. The more you discuss or talk about it, the easier it would be on your part to accept the reality. Donna M. White, LMHC, CACP once stated that “Many times I have heard couples say, “We know what’s wrong, but we just don’t know how to fix it.”. This is a perfect time to get a third party involved. If a couple is stuck, a skilled clinician may be able to get them moving in the right direction.”
Go On A Vacation
Do not be afraid to treat yourself to a quick vacation to a place that you have always wanted to visit. Make sure that you take this trip as an opportunity to reconnect with yourself. “Vacations are coping mechanisms that help us adapt to the everyday stresses in our lives.” John Mayer, PhD said. Enjoy a moment of solitude to a place that is far away from your home. When you do this, you are exposing yourself to a different world. Somehow, it will make you feel more excited about the things that will unfold in your life now that you are divorced. Aside from this, the vacation will also make you realize that it is possible to be happy without your husband.
Go On Therapy Sessions
Another thing that you can consider is to seek professional help. All you have to do is to look for a licensed therapist in your area and book for an appointment. If you are not comfortable or interested in face-to-face meetings, you can also try online therapy services. The choice depends on your personal preferences. Do not worry because every information, story, and experience that you will share to the therapist will be confidential. As such, he is not allowed to talk about it to other people.
Focus On Yourself
Now that you are officially divorced from your husband, it is high time to start caring for yourself. Keep in mind that you spent the past few years taking good care of the marriage. Since it already ended, the best thing to do is to begin loving yourself even more. Go get a makeover and do all the things that can you feel more beautiful than ever. Aside from this, you can also start looking for a new passion. Keep yourself busy, but make sure that everything you do will make you feel a lot better.
Remember that you have what it takes to overcome the divorce.